How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
So vagazzling was a success
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
