so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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