So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
