He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
