I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
