OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
