i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
