i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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