you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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