the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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