It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
