and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
