I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
