I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
