who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
