why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
