Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I think my vagina is haunted
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
