I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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