don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
