We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
