speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
