i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
false alarm. still invincible.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
