Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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