i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
