Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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