yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
