Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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