The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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