This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
