The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
