Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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