id be glad to
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
what day is it and did you see me today?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
