i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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