i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
