seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
