Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
