Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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