You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Randomize
