The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
