Need sex. Gaining weight.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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