You're so nebulous sometimes
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
