ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
