Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
