I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
