bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
