dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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