Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
