you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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