the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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