If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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